Eulogy
Given by Steve

Thank you for all joining us today…

I just want to say from the outset, that Lesley and I are “thankful” for the way Dad has chosen to leave us. We’ve talked about how he would have hated to die in a hospital, being poked around… and can you imagine Stanley Woods in an old person’s home(!). That was never going to happen…

Not only was he a great father, grandfather, great-grandfather etc… But by all accounts he was also a popular uncle. And I put this down to his knack for inventing games. Using a pebble on the beach, a golf ball in the back garden or simply some paper and a pen.

These often came with the suggestion of a financial reward… 20 pesetas for the first person to run up that hill and touch the lamp post, or setting grandson Billy a challenge with a game of swingball at one of Uncle Pat’s BBQs!

He did come unstuck recently though… with Maureen’s grandson Louie – when he bet him 50 Euros that he couldn't open the “Impossible Puzzle Box” I’d given him. Of course Louie opened it in under two minutes and it was only then that Dad thought about how much 50 Euros is actually worth!

When we were at school I had to give an annual presentation to my class. Most pupils chose “fishing” or “stamp collecting”, BUT my lessons included the Apollo 11 moon landing in 1969 and the Life and Times of General Wolfe (who lived in Westerham). And Dad was always on hand with great ideas:

“I’m going to take you up to the top of Westerham Hill this year… because there is a company there that builds boats out of concrete! Just go in and tell them that you want to do a school project and see what you can get from them…"

Lesley would also like to thank Mum and Dad for all their support whilst pursuing her interest in music and the arts. Dad spent many hours transporting her to musical rehearsals and concerts, whilst also funding summer schools and travel abroad. At the age of 18 she announced a desire to have a career in the arts. They asked her teacher whether or not this should be encouraged and to their credit went on to back this up wholehearted. As a result she has had a fun and rewarding career.

Holidays to Comarruga were a big thing. When I was aged just 6 (and a year later with baby Lesley in arms and tucked into a sleeping bag) we drove through France and on to Spain. Dad and all the uncles were sent out into the rain to take down our travel tents. And as the French clearly did not have any decent food (?) us kids were sat down by the roadside alongside a small gas cooker, smash potato and spam to eat! Of course I could also easily survive on just Chocolate Spread!

At the age of 18 Dad caught TB and was ordered to spend a year in hospital, alongside a group of old guys who begged him to leave as soon as possible. 
He was bored and so took up a course, learning technical drawing, which as luck would have it set him up for life and his own business. Forming Long & Co, and becoming very much a self-made man. There were also a lot of people (family and friends) that he went on to help with bits of work and jobs…

He once stood up in court to testify for one of his employees Darren (who was a young black kid and who was up for a case of GBH whilst defending his younger brother). Dad got him off, but immediately said afterwards to Darren: “Sort yourself out… and don’t ever make me do that again!!!”
 
Lesley says it was his business that ultimately inspired her to become self-employed.

For those interested (?) we have a book showcasing some of his projects which we can show you later… 

He was big on Sport, playing for over 10 years with his brothers and was a lifelong fan of Crystal Palace (the mighty Eagles!). It turns out by the way that this crematorium was originally called “The Crystal Palace District Cemetery”!!! So very appropriate…

I can recall at least two seasons where he and I attended every home game at Selhurst Park with the likes of Bernard, Ernie and Roger. And he also liked to play football too, with childhood friend Les Canon (who was his Best Man at his wedding)

When I was younger, I spent many a weekend being “forced” to watch Dad play for Meopham Football Club. I would say he was coming towards the end of his career at this point… and all the sons used to ignore the match and we would set up our own game alongside the pitch!

He was married to Mum for over 39 years. Both coming from New Addington and going on to have children, buy and improve their houses, move around (ending up in Biggin Hill and Westerham) and enjoying all our holidays…

Dad was very lucky to have two very loyal women in his life, and after the shock of Mum’s death in 2000 he eventually went on to have 19 further years with Maureen and they got to enjoy a proper retirement and lots more travel.

Dad really valued education and experiences above all else and wanting everything for his children that he didn't have himself. So we got to fly on the world’s first Jet airliner (the mighty Comet piloted by Dan Air!), learnt how to behave properly in restaurants, travel and eat Spanish Omelettes etc … 

And in later years he made regular trips out to Bergerac in France to spend time with Maureen's family and her grandchildren (whom he adored) with all their horse riding, apprenticeships and language skills.

In a quiet moment he once told me how proud he was of his own children, grandchildren and now great-grandchildren and was so impressed at how far the Woods family had come (from humble beginnings) …

His sense of humour and love of family was legendary. Along with famous phrases such as “Let’s go Joe”, “How’s the car going?” and my personal favourite “It’s time to grasp the nettle my son!”. 

BTW We still haven't worked out who Joe is..???!!!

We will miss ALL of that… so rest in peace and sleep well xxx